It is estimated that over 40% of women in South Africa will experience rape or sexual assault in their lifetime. This means that, as a woman, you are almost as likely to experience sexual assault then you are to not experience it. Although South Africa experiences an extremely high rate of sexual assault, the global averages are just as daunting, where 1 in 3 women will experience some form of sexual assault or rape.
And yet, our society has propagated the idea of victim-blaming or completely disregarding the victim.
“What was she wearing?” “How much did she drink?” “Well, did you say no?”
Does it matter? These are not valid arguments. What if she was a child, does it matter what she was wearing then? Or if she was drinking in the company of her friends in their homes only, does the amount of alcohol matter then? Or that she only had water the entire evening? If you believe that she could say no, then she can say yes, you do not need the no to stop, you need the yes to even start.
Victim-blaming should never be an option and yet it is becoming increasingly popular due many power figures. Recent allegations against ‘Dirty Dom’ in the YouTube Vlog Squad, have shown multiple sexual assaults have been recorded with members of the Vlog Squad being present during one of these attacks. The most public of the assaults at the moment is regarding 20-year-old young women, who was illegally given alcohol by other members of the Vlog Squad in order to ‘loosen her up’, this was after she had said that she did not want to have sex with any of the members. Later that evening her friends had to carry her out of the building after she was raped by Dominic.
Does it matter how much alcohol she drank now? She said no, they intentionally gave her alcohol to a point where she was unable to say no, but she was also unable to say yes. She had not given consent. She was forced into an unbelievable situation. What about the young women, who wasn’t drunk? She was making out with famous youtuber, Jake Paul, at a party. They later went up to his bedroom to continue to kiss and make out. She had also explicitly said no to engaging in anything further, however he did not like this response. He forcefully ‘face-f***ed’ her until he was done and then left the room. What is the excuse then? She eventually had to delete her social media accounts, as another famous youtuber, Keemstar, had her accused her of ‘clout-chasing’.
Both of these young ladies have had an enormous amount of hate, as they are accusing people who are in positions of power. Victims are not trying to ruin your careers or life; they are speaking out against a crime that was committed. You committed the crime not them; they did not make the choice, you did. You chose the consequences when you illegally sexually assaulted someone.
The victims are not trying to gain popularity, or fame, or power from these allegations. They don’t care about the ‘clout’. They didn’t choose this. How many famous people are you aware of that became famous simply from being raped? Would you want to live the rest of your life with the label, “that girl that was raped by…”?
Why are we accepting victim-blaming as a society, it is not okay! There is not a reason for it. If a person is willing to commit a crime, they should be held accountable. We do not blame murder victims for being murdered, or shop owners for being looted, or the house owners for a robbery. Why is it okay to victim-blame now, why is it acceptable to disregard their story?
Written by Bianca (Social Media Manager)
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